daturameloxia | seasons inbox

Because I like MK.

[Wylan curls tighter around Argon.]

Wylan, breathe.

I'm not mad.

This conversation is about romantic relationships in general.

Because it occurred to me that you might not....have the best outlook on how they work.

I don’t want to talk about this.

[He starts to get up to his feet, despite knowing that yes he did’t have any proper demonstrations of a good relationship growing up. ]

Wylan, if you can't talk about relationships, you're not ready to be in one.

I am ready. Just because I don’t want to talk about it with you doesn’t mean I’m not ready. I’m not a kid.

You're my kid.

And the most important thing about maintaining a healthy relationship, any kind of relationship, is being able to have a difficult conversation.

If this little amount has you wanting to run, then you're not ready to have one, let alone be a good partner.

MK and I have already had a difficult conversation. I just don’t want to talk with you.

Stop telling me that I’m not capable of something! You sound like my father.

And are you going to pull out those cheap shots whenever you have a fight with MK?

Because he's got a lot of weak spots to go for.

What cheap shots? I’m telling you ehat I think and feel and I feel that you’re talking down to me like my father would.

We’ve already agreed that we can talk each other out of a spiral.

And you know I hate being compared to him and you know its hurts. And its becoming your favorite go to move, which isn't a good sign, Wylan.

Especially what your father did was put you down and only put you down. He didn't care about helping you improve. Only punishing you so he could feel like a big man.

I want to help you so you don't have to make the worst possible mistake to learn a lesson.

And have you done so? And was it a talk?

Or was it a distraction? [He knows MK. He knows his tactics.]

Edited 2025-01-03 17:18 (UTC)

[It isn’t a good sign. Isn’t a good sign for what? Wylan’s head is spinning. Argon is practically on top of him.]

Isn’t a good sign of what? Of being a good son? Because I spoke my mind? You don’t want to help me, you want me and MK to break up.

[Tears are glimmering in his eyes.]

He did help me! He helped me slow my breathing when I was spiraling.

[Wylan is standing now, though Argon is trying to get him to sit and calm.]

No. A sign that you equate any kind of harm the same as the worst harm you have ever experienced.

And that isn't good because it means anytime you are hurt, you will always take it to the extreme, and there is no way to have a healthy relationship if that's the only way you can view harm.

The status of yours and MK's relationship has a lot of moving parts, most of them not in my control. Those parts have to settle before I talk to you about all my concerns personally about the relationships.

That stops the panic attack. Did the emotions that started it go away? And what if you had run away first?

What if he runs away first?

[Wylan shakes his head firmly.]

No. I am… being assertive. And I a m saying that you calling me incapable sounds like him! In this moment in time! You sound like him! I am not trying to hurt you or go to the extreme! I feel in this moment that you are talking like him! Why won’t you listen to me?

And why would MK run away? We already talked. Why do you want this to end? He’s good for me! I’m happy with him!

Because its hard to listen to someone when they choose to hurt you instead of talk to you.

If you feel I'm talking down to you, say I'm talking down to you. If you want to be seen as capable, we can talk about what that actually means. Deciding that I am like the sperm donor when I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you does what exactly?

It hurts me.

And it makes you believe I'm like him even though we both know I'm not. The more you insist I'm like him, the less you'll see me as a different person, and that doesn't help either one of us, and you know that Wylan. I want to be your dad, but I can't be that if you won't let me act like a good dad.

And unfortunately sometimes a parent has to give their kid the hard truths. Because being a parent is about guidance and unfortunately that means sometimes you do have to have some growing pains. Not because I have you beaten up, but because I have to have an uncomfortable and emotionally tense conversation with you.

And let's be fair, has your father ever sat down to actually have a conversation with you?

And MK would run away because that is one of the many, many, many unfortunate ways you are alike.

Edited 2025-01-03 17:42 (UTC)

No. He hasn’t. But I do feel you’re talking down to me, Wash. I do.

He wouldn’t run. He didn’t run when I was spiraling. He stayed with me and helped me slow my breathing. If he’d wanted to run, he could have done so then.

Edited 2025-01-03 17:47 (UTC)

Then say that. Don't say the thing you know hurts. If I hadn't been ready for you to pull that card, that would have been a lot more upsetting.

Because you do it a lot.

I also feel like you don't want to take any of my concerns seriously, which just makes them a lot worse.

Because MK wouldn't run because you're having a bad time alone, Wylan. But if he's stressed? If he's upset? He will run away. Not everytime, but he does it often. Just like you're trying to now. If I was having a panic attack, you'd stay and try and help me, right? But not when you are.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I related you two. I do want to talk about relationships, but I don’t want to be talked down to in the process. Or imply things about who I’m currently dating.

I haven’t run yet. I might be close, but I’m trying to talk to you about how I feel MK won’t run.

Unfortunately, this is a growing pains talk because this is a brand new kind of conversation to go through, but its important, because you have tendencies and while I think MK, as a person, is great, but I also know you both pretty well and I have grave concerns.

And you can feel he won't run away.

His history says otherwise.

Literally the other day says otherwise.

Grave concerns about him or me?

[He’s prepared to hear how insufficient he is, he’s had dressing downs before.]

What do you mean he ran away just the other day?

Honestly? Both of you, but you are my priority. I'll break MK's heart a million times if I can avoid breaking yours once. I don't want to, and I am going to do my absolute best to make this the least painful as possible, but I can take hurting MK far easier than you.

He's the one who broke up with Macaque when Macaque was less than enthusiastic about you two.

Don’t break his heart. Please? You can break mine instead. Please don’t hurt him

We talked about that. I feel terrible about it.

I don't want to. But the situation is messy. And the only way, literally the only way to get through the situation is having hard conversations. Leaving things unsaid will only cause a lot more hurt later.

[So the question is, is he still struggling with Argon?]

Did you? And what did you figure out from the conversation?

Other than apologies. They were a lot, right?

[Argon is trying to alert at Wylan, who seems to be having difficulty breathing.]

I want to be with him, but I hate that it’s upset Macaque.

Should I… [Macaque lives in the main house so.] Should I leave? Would it it help Macaque if he didn’t see me?

[Which he doesn’t mean as a way to run, but to make life easier for Macaque, even if it would quietly break Wylan’s heart to no longer be allowed in this warm, beautiful home.]

Wylan, thinking of running away again.

But now that you are talking with me, I can slow down a bit.

So I need you to breathe, son. [He reaches for a hand, giving a light squeeze for a four count.]

Oh, right. Sorry.

[He’s trying to think of anything to help. He’s dazed until he feels Wash’s hand on his, helping him.

How could he have ever compared Wash to his father?]

I can’t breathe.

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