Given Kaz’s past of abruptly being cut off from any support system as a child, and carrying the weight of that survival guilt with him to this day, he firmly believes in the advice he offers that survival can’t depend on the validation of others. It’s nowhere near as sustainable as believing in one’s own merit, and that can only happen through personal perseverance. There had been no one to turn to but himself to survive the harshness of Ketterdam, no one to validate his choices but his own burning drive to move forward. Any hint of weakness, of need, was exploited and used against him brutally. He should have died many times over, had been left for dead more times than he could count.

He got back up not to prove something to others, not to get their approval, but to spite them. To make sure that his plans were seen through, on his terms.

Wylan deserves not only autonomy in his mind, but to figure out that he’s worth something on his own merit and not that of others. At least he has people around him to support him in figuring that out, unlike Kaz had so many years ago.

“I don’t think you do know,” he replies bluntly. “But it’s not an easy lesson to learn. You have plenty to offer, so it’d be a waste to rely on other people telling you that rather than knowing it yourself. Compliments are great, but the person you spend the most time with is always going to be yourself. Learn your worth. Don’t compromise on it. Even if I won’t exploit it, life's too unpredictable to not have every advantage at your disposal that you can.”